My Name is Bradley

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My name is Bradley.  I am a golden cocker spaniel.   I was born on August 6, 2007 to a Mum who had four-legs, two eyes, two ears and a tail.  She had no arms or hands.  She had a big jaw with lots of teeth and a floppy tongue.  That was my first Mom.  She had too many puppies so she had to say goodbye to me.   I am really handsome and have two gorgeous, dark brown eyes.

I came to live with my new Mom in October 2007.  My new Mom has only two legs but she has two arms and two hands.  Her mouth is small and I don’t know how many teeth she has but no way are they as big as my first Mom’s were.   My new Mom’s tongue isn’t floppy and doesn’t hang out of her mouth.  She has no tail which is weird cos I have a tail.  Her ears are really small and they don’t touch the ground like mine do but she loves me lots so I don’t care.  She has only one eye.

When I was 8 weeks old I ate her banana plant – well, not all of it cos I wasn’t tall enough to reach the leaves at the top, but what I did eat was delicious!  I also ate her Jimmy Choos – (these are shoes for two-legged people).  I didn’t like her wearing them cos when she put them on her two feet, she walked kind of funny so I chewed the heels so she could walk easier and her feet would not be so sore.  I carried them to her in my mouth with my tail wagging but she cried when I put them down to give to her!!  Humans are SO weird.

I’m really happy with my new Mom.   I can do anything I want and even when she wags her finger at me and her voice goes deeper, all I do is roll over on my back and show her my tummy and she gets happy again!  I like to make her smile.

I had a gorgeous, sumptuous, cozy, warm bed for a while that I loved to snuggle up in with a hot water bottle that Mom gave me.   It’s gone now.  You see, I got bored one day and Mom was out and I had no one to play with and then my teeth started itching and the itch wouldn’t go away and I was going crazy, so I began to chew at the corner of my lovely expensive bed and I shook it from side to side and it was SO good cos every time I moved my head from right to left it tug at my teeth and they stopped itching.  It was SO much fun but then I chewed it so much I made a hole and out of the hole came all this foam and the foam tickled my nose so I made a bigger hole and more stuffing came out and I was giggling cos it was tickling me and so I made lots of holes in my bed and took out all the stuffing and threw it all over the floor and fell asleep on all the bits of foam.

I was dreaming lovely happy doggy things and then I heard Mom opening the hall door and I was so excited to see her that I jumped up into her arms but her shopping bag burst and her groceries fell out onto the floor.   She sat down on some of the foam with me and she was laughing and she pulled me into her arms and gave me big kisses but when I licked her face and all around her eyes it tasted salty!!  Her face only tastes salty when she is not happy and she is crying.

I don’t think I want to grow up cos I don’t understand grown ups.   When I’m happy I wag my tail and when I’m not happy I put my tail down between my back legs.  She laughs when she’s happy and she cries when she is unhappy.  What do I do when she laughs and she cries at the same time?   I guess I’ll just roll over and show her my tummy!!!!