Logo

I’ve been pretending to be happy for a while now. My story starts on January 1, 2013. I met this guy. He was my happiness. Before him, I felt alone. I felt unwanted by my parents and I just wasn’t happy. Until I met him. I was 13 when I met him, and yes I know it’s sounds really stupid because I was so young. But I had to grow up fast so I was more mature than other girls my age. But that boy…he made me so damn happy. I thought he was so perfect. And for once I didn’t have to pretend to be happy anymore.
About a year later after I had met him, my mom and step dad split up. I consider my step dad as my real dad, because he’s the one that raised me. My mom went back to my real dad. Why? I still don’t know. My step dad was depressed. Every time I saw him he was crying. He would always yell at my mom and ask her what did he do to deserve this? How is she going to do this to us? She was hurting everyone. My step dad, me and my siblings. And she acted like she didn’t even care. About 2 weeks later, it got worse. My mom wanted to get away from my step dad. So she decided to move 7 hours away. And they made me choose who I wanted to live with…Like how can I even choose between my mom and dad? But I chose my dad. Because he needed someone to be there for him. And I was mad at my mom for tearing this family apart. She moved away taking my little sister and abandoning me, my brother and my dad. After she moved we all became depressed.
A couple months after, I found out my boyfriend had been cheating on me most of the time we were together. We were together for a little over a year. And my happiness was gone. It was like I was losing everything I loved. I felt empty. And I was only 14…
A few more months passed. I turned 15, made it through my first year of high school. And I met this other guy on June 3, 2014. My only intentions were to get with him to help me get over my ex. But I ended up falling for him after a while. And it turns out he was just like my ex. I caught him cheating 5 times already. But I just cannot seem to let him go. I am still with him. I guess I’m just hoping he will change. I am so attached to him, letting him go isn’t an option for me. I am not happy with him but I am not happy without him. He is the only thing keeping me alive right now. I have no idea what to do about anything. I feel trapped. I hate feeling this way.