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Well, what the title says is true! It is hard to fight and staying strong while you endure life. I have been through a lot and me being only 21 years of age is saying something. Have you ever felt so lost and so confused that you just wanted to give and go into beetle position? Yea, that’s me.
So as you know I am 21, still a college student technically even though I am not signed up for any class but I still have one more class to go before I graduate. cool right? No, not really! This was my biggest leason in life. Don’t go into college until you are 199% sure of what you want to do! I was in junior high and I kept on bouncing back and forth between the stuff I wanted to do in life. First I wanted to be a lawyer, then an author, then a producer, then a dance teacher, then a kindergarten teacher. And as I finally get into high school, someone from a college came into my art class for a presentation. I finally figured out what I wanted to do with my life. BAKE!I wanted to own a bakery shop and bake a lot of goodies and decorate cake. I was excited! As I graduate college I knew what college I wanted to go to: The Art Institute! For their baking and pastry program but to my surprise the tuition cost was outrageous. We are talking about $60,000. Yea, that is a lot of money but I didn’t let it stop me. I knew what I wanted (at the time), so I went for it. I was all excited and amped up. But… slowly and surely the college years were beginning to drag. A year and a half in and I started feeling like I couldn’t do it anymore, that it wasn’t what I wanted. It was junior high all over again. At first I wanted to own a bakery, then a bar, then a hotel, then a casino, and then I finally realized that I just wanted to own a business no matter what it was. After being in school for 3 years and struggling to finish my associates degree I finally hit my last class. The class I have been dreading to take for so long was finally here. I failed! why? Because I didn’t show up. Yes I can admit it and no I am not exactly proud of myself but I ask people all the time, “how would you feel if you are paying out of the butt to learn something you shouldn’t have to learn, let alone something you don’t want to learn?” They all had the same answer. “Yea, I could see that.” I didn’t want to learn what they had to teach me, I thought it was pointless. I wanted it to be over and done with. I was working on a degree that I won’t ever use. I spent $60,000 down the drain. I realized that I should of just gone and did business management but at the time I didn’t know what I truly wanted. I was blind sided and ever since then (still today with no college degree), I regretted going to college. The sad thing is not only did I waste a lot of money but I also wasted 3 years of my life.
It hurts to know that people make mistakes, some bigger then others, and there is nothing you can do about it. I have to still at the end of the day pay of the student loans even though I didn’t finish, still regretting that decision. No one helps you. You can only help yourself and it is times like these that I feel people deserve a helping hand. I honestly don’t think it’s my fault. I felt the pressure of going to college and becoming something of myself that I didn’t even take time to think about it. I was so concerned about being successful for my family that I put myself in danger. I honestly feel brainwashed and used. At this point in my life, I find college to be a lie. It isnt about education in todays society. It is about money and people feed off of people like us, who fight everyday for living, to have food on our plates, clothes on our backs, and a roof over our heads. Most students today have to move back home to pay off their student loan debt. Some are even still unemployed. The only education that matters is a high school diploma and GED. You have to get hired at the very bottom and climb your way to the top. Even with basically having my degree, I still can’t find a job. Yes I am unemployed and like I said I am a college student. People wont even look at you unless you have the experience, but in my eyes, how can they expect you to get the experience when they wont give you a chance to learn it? Granted you can “learn” it in school but you never know when you have to go for something else or get stuck like me and switch career paths. People these days are just so selfish and rude. It saddens me!
Folks the lesson here after all this ranting is that think really really hard on what you want to do with your life before you jump into ANYTHING! Go ahead and go to college and just get your generals done but don’t sign up unless you know for sure! Give it a year or two AFTER high school because you never know when you will change your mind!