Lately, I cannot look at you without thinking ‘jump ship’ first, because there is something that is clearly marked as ‘danger’ in your wide-lipped smile.
I cannot tell your truths apart from your lies anymore. Maybe it’s because I’m not bothered to try. Or maybe it’s because you’ve stopped telling me the truth altogether.
Today, we sat across from each other on the bus. We laughed and laughed. But I was acting the whole time and when I looked at you, I wondered ‘is she acting too?’, because your happiness and joy seem so fake. Then again, how would I know? I can’t tell your truths apart from your lies, remember?
Sometimes I wonder ‘what am I doing here?’. Except it’s not the age old philosophical question, ‘what am I doing here on this earth?’, but the simple question, ‘what am I doing here with you?’. I suppose it must be one of those ‘wonders of the universe’ because I have no idea why we are still continuing our stupid little act. Maybe it’s just a habit. Who knows?
These days when I see you I wonder, ‘who are you?’ because I honest don’t know anymore. I think I may have once, but I can’t be sure. Maybe you were lying.
I almost wish we could go back to us before all this, but I almost don’t because I’m afraid to know if that was the real you or if it was just another façade you put on.
Right now I just want to jump ship because you are danger, but I don’t know how to.
It’s funny. I always thought of myself as a bitch but apparently when it comes down to it, I can’t break hearts.
secretly-broken